


Your Grace

by Superfanatural



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Hunters, Angel Castiel, Angel Wings, Angelic Grace, Angels, Choice, Confusion, F/M, Forbidden Love, Ghosts, Heart Break, Heaven, Hunt Gone Wrong, Hunting, Jealous Castiel, Jealous Dean, Love, Love Triangles, Relationship Struggles, Wings, struggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-19 02:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9412856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superfanatural/pseuds/Superfanatural
Summary: You are a hunter and in a relationship with Dean, but somethings went wrong. You almost died, that's what you've been told, but you sense there is more. When you all of the sudden can see Castiel's wings, things get complicated. Are you getting feelings for Castiel?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this originally was meant to be a one-shot and different, but the story took me another way. I just went with it and I hope you like it. I hope yo enjoy it. ;)

You woke up with a throbbing headache, for the first seconds everything was blurry. As you regained consciousness, you felt someone giving you a tight hug.

“Y/N!” The familiar voice made you feel more at ease. It was your loving boyfriend Dean Winchester, you remembered. You were in your own cozy room in the bunker, lying in bed. It was winter and pretty cold outside, the radiator was on and you had a blanket over yourself.

A weak sigh escaped your mouth, but you smiled softly at him. He looked at you worried.

“Y/N, are you alright?” His eyes full with concern, he took your hand.

“Yeah, I’m alright just a little tired. What happened?” You asked, trying hard to remember what caused you to feel like this.

The last thing that you could recall was, absolute chaos. Blood everywhere, shouting, fighting coming from every direction. Thinking about it made your headache worse

Dean eyes fell down, he caressed your hand. “’W-we were on a case,” He started explaining reluctantly.

“We invaded a werewolf pack, but we underestimated their numbers. As we were fighting them off, one got up behind me… You saved me, Y/N. You jumped in between me and a werewolf. If it wasn’t for you, I’d be lying here. You killed it, but not before it could bite you. You… were bleeding so much, I-I couldn’t stop it.”

His voice trembled, you covered his hand with yours. “Hey, I’m alright, I’m alive.” You reassured him.

He looked up at you, his green eyes staring at your beautiful Y/E ones. You knew he felt guilty, like it was his fault, but it wasn’t. It took a little effort, but you managed to bow forward.

Your lips closing in on his, you kissed him. Dean’s full lips felt like home and so good. That moment Castiel came in out of nowhere, you both were startled at his sudden appearance.

“Cas!” Dean cursed silently, giving him almost a heart attack.

“I’m sorry Dean.” Cas apologized, but didn’t seemed to care, his eyes fixated on you. It made you feel a little uncomfortable, but you knew Cas.

You, Dean, Cas and Sam had been a tight team ever since you started hunting with them. They had taken you in as one of their own, and you trusted them completely.

Sam who now also came in your bedroom, let out a big relieved sigh. He walked towards you with a smile that brightened your mood, he hugged you as well.

“I’m glad your awake, for a minute there I thought you weren’t going to make it. You looked so pale when we got you here.” He said. Sam was your big brother, that you never had.

“Yeah what actually happened after that?” You frowned your brows, looking at Cas then back at Sam and Dean.

“Ooh, Cas worked some angel mojo on you and healed you.” Dean said simply. But something didn’t seem right, you looked at Cas. Who was trying hard not to meet your gaze.

The brothers didn’t notice it however, and went on like there was nothing wrong. They left the room to give you some rest, Dean got you a cup of tea, but you were already sleeping when he came back.

He staid by your bedside the entire time, only getting up for bathroom breaks or to get something. Dean was the best thing that had ever happened to you, he was caring and when you get to know him really sweet.

After your parents got killed when you were 10, you ended up at foster care. It was a hard time, but eventually you made it through. Along the way you met Dean and Sam, they cared for you and now almost one year, you had a relationship with the most beautiful man on earth.

 

* * *

 

 

You slept for about 5 hours and when you woke up, it was already dark outside. Dean wasn’t in your room, so you got up out of bed, to look for him. The floor was stone cold and the fact that you were walking on bare feet didn’t make it better.

The headache had gone away, but you still had a little problem walking straight. At first you had to grab your bed for support, but as you started walking you got your balance back.

You had sweatpants on and a sweater to keep you warm, you walked out your room and fallowed the voices that came out of the kitchen.

When you came in, you saw Dean and Sam eating dinner. The smell of food made you nauseous, they both looked up at you.

“Hey, how are you feeling.” Dean asked with a mouth full with food. You laughed at him.

“I’m fine, but I’m not hungry at all.” You said looking repelling at the burgers and fries of Dean. You sat across from Dean and Sam, and talked a bit.

Cas came walking in from the hall way, you didn’t look up at first. But when you finally turned around to look at him, your mouth dropped. You took a big gasp, trying to fill your lungs, but you were astonished.

Cas looked at you with fright, he wasn’t sure but he hoped that what he had thought wasn’t true. Your back was now turned against the boys, so they didn’t saw your expression.

A long silence fell, you stared at Cas in amazement, Cas looked at you uncomfortably. Dean and Sam watched Cas and you, questioning why you didn’t respond. You slowly stood up, looking at Cas and passed him.

“Cas.” You whispered in admiration. Cas stared at the floor, he clearly didn’t feel the same way about it as you did.

You gingerly walked towards him, like approaching a scared and skittish deer. Dean and Sam just looked at you like you were crazy, and didn’t understand anything what was happening.

You walked over to Cas’ right side, you stood a few inches away from him. What Dean and Sam didn’t saw and what you did were Castiel’ wings. Yes, his own personal angelic wings. Two of them came out of the back of his shoulders, they were neatly folded against his back.

Raven black fathers so many you couldn’t count them, deferring from small fathers to long big fathers at the end. The light shining over the feathery surface made the black glister all kinds of different colors from purple to blue and green.

It were the most beautiful pair of wings you had ever seen, they were literally magical. You were captivated by their elegance, you reached out your hand to touch the seemingly fluffy wings.

When you almost touched them, your hand lingering around the feathers. When your fingertips touched the feathers, a spark went through your body, almost like electricity and you were pretty sure Cas felt it too.

Within milliseconds they spread open, unfolding their entire wingspan. They turned from fluffy to steal knives in milliseconds.

These wingers were definitely not just used for flying, but were dangerous weapons, deadly in a fight. You quickly drew your hand back, Cas’ head snapped up to you.

“Sorry.” You gave him a apologizing look, he started to relax a bit.

“Hello, does anyone care to explain what’s happening here?” Dean asked in a low voice, looking at the two of you in confusion.

But you didn’t hear him, you ignored Dean asking for attention. Then you heard something that you weren’t sure was real.

_“Y/N, angel’s their wings are very sensitive, they’re a very personal part of us.”_

Was that Cas’ voice? But you were pretty sure that the others didn’t hear it, as for the wings, it seemed like they didn’t see them too. So you tried it, not that it was going to work or something.

_“Cas? Is that you?”_

_“Yes, Y/N.”_

_“What is this? Why can I hear you inside my head?”_ You were confused.

_“It’s the angel radio.”_ Cas said in his own low voice.

_“Why am I on angel radio?”_ But you got no answer back, not that you really cared at this point. You were still fascinated by his wings.

You glanced at Cas, seeing his bright blue eyes, he nodded as if he knew what you meant to ask. He watched as your fingers cautiously caressed the fathers. They were turning back to their soft form, showing that Cas was at more ease.

You felt the feathers over your whole hands, underneath strong muscles.

“Beautiful.” You muttered out, hard enough for Dean to hear it. He stood up and walked over to you, not liking how close you stood to the angel and saying stuff like beautiful.

He grabbed your arm that in his eyes was just stroking the air. That broke you from your trance, not liking it, you looked angry at him.

“Dean!” You loudly said.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” He asked a bit of hurt in his voice, because of your reaction.

“I-I’m… You don’t see it do you?”

“See what?” Sam said from across the kitchen, he had watched this hole moment.

“Never mind, I’m just being weird.” You said disappointingly. You looked up at Cas, thinking that you never actually saw how handsome he is.

Wow, Y/N stop it! You have a boyfriend, you told yourself. Looking down at the floor and cursing internally for thinking such thing. You gave Dean a quick kiss on the lips and took off swiftly back to you room.

Dean still stood there, not sure if he even understood what just happened. But he definitely didn’t like the way you had acted with Cas.

Cas went away after that too, confused with the feelings he just had. He never felt something like that in his life before, that spark that send goosebumps all over his body.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some strange things happen while on a hunt. And tensions rise between Castiel, Dean and you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this chapter turned out longer than I expected. I hope you enjoy. ;)

That night you dreamed, it wasn’t a nightmare like you had often. It was about Castiel, you lay in a bed, your own bed to be exactly. Your room wasn’t anything special, just a bed, an old wooden desk and chair and your closet. Your head resting on his shoulders and his arm around you. The light from outside shone through the window and lightened Castiel’ whole body. A little too bright, not natural, it looked more as if a big lamp gleamed into the room.

You looked up at him, and he looked perfect. His usual scruffs and innocent blue eyes, seemed to give you comfort. Your arms lay on his chest, you reached up and rested on his jaw. You both looked happy and at peace, like an old married couple.

“Cas, I love you.” Your voice echoed through your brain, it felt fake, as if it wasn’t really you.

His lips slowly started to come closer to yours, just a few inches away. You almost reached it, just a little closer.

You opened your eyes, finding yourself in your bed. But this time you weren’t dreaming, beside you lay Dean. He was faced towards you, his armed hugged your waist. You never had a dream like that before, never. You felt ashamed for even thinking it, thinking of anybody else than your boyfriend like that.

You slowly slid away to the side of the bed, his arm fell to the mattress. Hopefully that didn’t wake him, it didn’t. You pushed your bedsheets aside and walked over to the bathroom. Every room in the bunker had its own little bathroom. Toilet, shower and sink. You sleepily walked over the cold bathroom titles, and splashed water against your face to wake you up.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, looking well rested. You felt no pain, everything that happened while on the hunt had healed completely, including the werewolf bite. You looked at yourself, feeling embarrassed and awful. Dean had been nothing but kind and loyal to you, giving you everything he had. And now you were taking it for granted, as if you didn’t want his love anymore, but another man’s?

Not even a man, an angel, how stupid could you be. Having feelings for an angels, it’s ridiculous. No, you thought to yourself, these feelings are nothing more. Nothing more than confused emotions, you weren’t going to let this change anything.

“Hey.” Your heart skipped a beat, and quickly turned around. Just to see Dean standing in the door opening, rubbing his fingers in his eyes.

“Good morning.” You let out a big sigh, relieved to see that it was just your boyfriend. You smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek as you walked past him.

“I’ll make us breakfast.” You said while walking to the kitchen.

Dean, Sam and you had found a case, a state over. A ghost who suffocates his victims, a pretty easy job. They didn’t say it, but they didn’t want you to go on a rough hunt just yet. If they would have told you, you would have probably reacted angry. You were a though woman, and they knew you could hold your own. But after the last hunt they just wanted to take it easy. You would probably stay there for the night, so you packed somethings with you.

Dean behind the wheel, Sam riding shotgun and you in the back. Just like it has always been, you loved hunting and nothing made you feel better than ganking some monsters. You were half way through until out of nowhere Cas popped up beside you.

“Jezus!” Dean shouted in front of you, causing the car to swing to the left. Your heart had picked up speed too, and not just because of the sudden appearance. Dean shot an angry look at Cas through the rear-view mirror, which Cas replied with his best puppy eyes and apologizing look.

He looked adorable. Stop it! You said to yourself. You didn’t dare looking at him, so you just gazed out of the window.

“Were are you going?” Castiel asked the tree of you. Sam then explained the case, about the ghost attacks. You felt an awkward tension between you and Castiel, not that he normally wasn’t. It didn’t bother you usually, but now it was obvious and uneasy. You felt a little spark as accidentally your fingers brushed each other.

You both looked up to one another, but realized it was nothing and turned your head. Still it didn’t feel like nothing, it felt warm and good. But as you saw Dean sitting in front of you, you pushed the thoughts away.

You shifted in your seat, and placed your head against the cool glass of the window. You saw Dean looking at you in the side mirror, he noticed there was something going on. You didn’t want to deal with it for now, so you closed your eyes, drifting away in your imagination.

 

* * *

 

 

During the hunt something had gone terribly wrong. You were fighting the now found ghost woman, who was trying to suffocate you. Her bones lay underneath the old wooden floors of the little ramshackle cabin you were in. In the middle of nowhere, surrounded by miles of forest.  

As Sam was trying to get the rotten planks loose with a crowbar, Dean was getting his way over to you with a pure iron fire poker. You were gasping for breath as this vengeful spirit, cut of your air supply with her strong grip on your throat. Dean swung the fire poker through her body, and she disappeared like mist.

You took a deep breath and coughed, your neck was sore and there was definitely going to be bruises on there. Then Castiel appeared, he had gone away for a little while. Doing god knows what, literally.

You could help but feeling some way different, when he was there. He walked over to Sam who had already put salt and gasoline on the bones, with just one look he set the bones on fire.

The woman who had unnoticeably creeped up behind you, now screamed in pain and vanished in the air, burned up. Then unexpectedly people in grey suits appeared, angels to be exact. Total douchebags, standing there all mighty, like they owned the place. But when it came to it, it were Sam and Dean who save the day.

“Castiel.” He tall man, with a low voice said. He had dark hair and brown eyes, and a lightly tinted skin. He didn’t look very happy.

“Amanaël. What are you doing here?” Castiel replied, but he looked threatening. There were two other female angels who stood beside him.

Then Amanaël looked at you intriguingly, as if inspecting you. He walked around you, scanning you from top to bottom. You felt very insecure, like he was looking at your biggest flaws with a magnifying glass. You stared at the man circling you, afraid that if you wouldn’t he would stab you or something.

You looked over to Dean and Cas, who both stood there ready for a fight. But you noticed that Sam was gone, that made you feel a little bit calmer. You knew he had a plan, and soon you’d be out of here.

“Interesting Castiel, she is very interesting.” You furrowed your brows in confusion. What was he talking about? Why were you interesting? You looked over at Castiel, who tried to avoid Dean and yours gaze, by looking at Amanaël.

“What are you talking about?” Dean said in an irritated tone. The man looked back at Castiel, because he knew what he was talking about. Then Sam reappeared in the room, standing in the door way that connected the living room with the hallway.

You couldn’t see it, but you knew. On the other side of the door, painted in blood was a sigil. Sam looked at the angels who now had spotted him too, and slammed his hands on the mark. A blinding white light filled the room, you covered your eyes.

 

And heard somebody yell no, but its sound was being muffled away by the light. Then something weird happened, you felt like you were being sucked away by the force. You screamed, but it wasn’t heard. For a few seconds you were surrounded with pure light, you couldn’t see anything, except whiteness.

You held your hands before your eyes, blocking it, until the glow seemed to die. It gradually dimed and you could see objects. A billboard stood next to you, it was blue and it had a fish painted on it. _Uncle Ben’s Fishery_ the sign read. As you looked further you saw a road, stretched into the darkness of the night.

You walked up to look were you were, maybe the sign would say it. When in the bushes behind you something moved. You swiftly turned around, took your knife. Your senses were all heightened, your eyes wide, because you couldn’t see very far.

The sound became louder, the moving of leaves seemed more close now. You stood there ready with your weapon in your right hand. When the angel in the trench coat stepped out, it was just Castiel.

“Cas?!” You asked while putting your knife away. “Where are we? What happened?”

He walked over to you, he looked around and squinted his eyes. He didn’t look surprised though, you waved your hands in front of his face to get his attention back.

“Hello!” His head turned your direction again. “Cas?” You didn’t like what was going on here.

“Where in heaven.” He stated while looking a bit worried. You blinked a couple times, you weren’t sure if you heard that correctly.

“Where in heaven? What do you mean?” Cas sighed, he didn’t want to tell you the truth.

“Angels get send back to someone’s heaven when that sigil gets used.” He explained.

“Yeah, little thing though, I’m not an angel! Why am I here?” You hadn’t noticed you had raised your voice, but felt guilty for yelling. It was the panic and the confusion.

“I’m sorry Cas, I didn’t mean to. I just don’t understand.” You apologized, Cas looked at you sweetly.

“I don’t know who’s heaven we are in, but we need to get back to the boys. And I have to tell you something.” He finally admitted. You were puzzled, but you didn’t ask anything else, he was right you needed to get back.

Castiel raised his fingers, but he didn’t do it immediately. You two stood there for a few seconds staring at each other, both smiling a bit. A warm feeling spread through your body, like it did every time you were with him.  He eventually placed them on top of your forehead, and you were gone.

It took a while but you and Cas made your way back to the motel, were Sam and Dean were waiting for you. When you arrived, Sam was sitting in a chair looking worried. And Dean was pacing the room, restless.

When you arrived, you immediately took a step away from Cas. A look of hurt crossed his faced when you did it. Dean who had seen you, almost run towards you and hugged you tightly.

The smell of Dean filled your nostrils, it was a pleasant smell. Whiskey and gunpowder mixed, which made you feel better.

“Where were you?” He asked worriedly. You sighed and didn’t really know how to answer that either. Then when Sam had hugged you too and everyone calmed down a bit, Cas started to explain.

“When you were on the werewolf hunt, you were injured badly.” He looked at you with sorrow, as if it was his fault.

“You were practically dead when I got to you.” His eyes stared at the ground. Sam and Dean both looked surprised and concerned.

“I-I had to… I gave you some of my grace. That’s why you can hear angel radio and see my wings, that’s also why the sigil affected you to.” You had a little trouble processing this information.

Dean stared daggers at Castiel, but Sam just looked confused. “You can see his wings?” Sam asked unbelievably. You looked at him unamused, that wasn’t the importance of the message.

“Y/N the only reason that you are living right now is, because my grace is keeping you alive.” Castiel said.

“Wait am I, like a demi angel now?” You still didn’t really get the thing that you had grace inside of you.

“Well you aren’t an angel, but technically yes.” Castiel said carefully, he knew Dean didn’t like this at all.

Finally he spoke. “And you forgot to tell us this!”

“I’m sorry, but if I didn’t she would have died!” Cas who normally wasn’t angry now was, he glared at Dean. There was a lot of tension in the air.

“Hey, guys I’m okay. Don’t worry, I’m alive and well.” You tried to calm both down.

It had been one hell of a night and you were extremely tired. You crawled into bed, next to Dean. Who didn’t look like himself, worried maybe even sadness filled his eyes.

“It’s okay, it will all be fine.” You reassured him and gave him a kiss on his lips. He gave you a small smile, and you turned around. You didn’t notice but that smile went away as soon as you did so.

“Goodnight Dean.” You whispered.

“Goodnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. Please leave kudos or a comment to let me know. What do you think should she stay with Dean or get with Cas?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your feelings about Castiel and Dean are getting complicated. Even the angels are getting in the way.
> 
> Warnings: A little bit of violance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I had actually planed to do this chapter next week, but I decided that I will first finish this one and then work on the other one: Elven Love. I just saw Supernatural season 12 episode 10 and it was about what I am writing here, it completely fits in. Don't worry if you haven't seen it, it doesn't matter for the story. I hope you enjoy it! ;)

Another dream kept your mind busy that night. You were in a wide meadow, green grass covered the ground as far as you could see. Flowers of every kind and color stuck out to get a last glimpse of sunlight, before the bright sun would set.

In the middle of the landscape stood a huge dark brown oak, towering over the flowers as if it was their guardian. A gust of wind swept through your hair and made the countless leaves up in the tree flutter.

It was a beautiful sight that you were admiring, when all of the sudden you noticed someone standing beside you. You  looked to your right and it was Castiel, staring at the big tree.

“Cas?” You weren’t sure what he was doing here. He slowly turned around to face you, his light blue eyes seemed even brighter in the sunlight.

“Hello Y/N.” He kindly greeted you.

“What are you doing here? Where are we?” You asked curious, it felt like this wasn’t real.

“We are inside your mind, you are dreaming right now.” He simply said like it was something that happened every day. That explained why it was so nice here, of course it wasn’t real. But you didn’t want to wake up just yet, it was a pleasant sight.

And just like that you and Cas stood under the oak, even though just a second a go you were at least half a mile away. You looked up at the branches, they went up far in the sky as if they were trying to touch the clouds.

You sat down against the trunk of the tree and Cas did the same. It felt very peaceful something that you hadn’t felt in a while.

“Y/N, I came here to talk to you in private. I wanted to say that I’m sorry…” He broke the silence, looking anywhere but at you.

“What for? Saving my life? Cas you shouldn’t apologize for anything.” You looked at him kindly. He opened his mouth to speak, but he didn’t. Instead he let out a deep sigh, he wanted to say something but he know he know he couldn’t.

He finally looked at you, giving him a small smile you stared deep into each other’s eyes. It seemed like forever, it was nice you, him, the fresh air and all the time in the world. You noticed that a blushed creeped up his cheeks, something you had never seen of the angel.

Then there was a shadow cast upon you, one that wasn’t there before. You looked to see what was blocking the sun from shining on you. It was a giant black wing stretched out in front of you. You went to sit up right to get a better look at them, the big feathers never ceased to amaze you.

The right wing moved to slide between your back and the tree, so that you lay against a nice fluffy father pack. The left one swooped back to Castiel and  folded against his side. It was like laying against the softest pillow in the entire world and because the black absorbed the light, it was comfortably warm.

“Y/N.” Castiel started in a low voice just above a whisper. Your eyes were closed and lay half a sleep on Castiel’ wing, still you could hear him. “You are beautiful.”

You opened your eyes, but you weren’t in your dream anymore. You lay on your less comfortable real pillow. You remembered what Cas had said to you, it wasn’t a dream. Well yes of course it was a dream, but not your thoughts, it was real in a way. Castiel had really told you, you were beautiful.

Your hard fluttered at the thought and you felt your cheeks heat up. You were startled as you felt a hand come up from behind you. Confused in the beginning, then you realized that you were lying next to Dean.

His hands moved over your waist, to your shoulder. You felt like you were cheating on him, like he just caught you. It felt wrong how good it felt, you were confused of all the emotions. A low growl came from the man lying next to you.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” He said his morning voice was so cute, you smiled. His hand started massaging your shoulder, the best way to wake up ever. You let him massage your muscles a while and then turned around.

“Good morning.” You were pulled in a sweet light kiss. You were once again remembered of how beautiful Dean Winchester actually is and how good it felt kissing his soft lips. You wanted more, and deepened the kiss.

His hands that cupped your face now moved back to your waist to have a better grip on you. You moved over on top of him, while kissing him. You pulled back to look at his gorgeous green eyes, that now were full of lust.

 

* * *

 

 

You walked in the kitchen with messed up hair and a smile plastered on your face. How could you have forgotten how amazing the sex with Dean was. Luckily he had reminded you this morning, and you felt fantastic.

“Slept well tonight?” Sam guessed by the looks of it. It reminded you of your dream and the smile you had fainted away slightly, you pushed that thought back though.

“I slept great, thank you.” Your bright smile was back again when you thought of this morning, you took the coffee Sam gave to you. Shortly after Dean came walking in, he looked at you and a smile that you had on your face early now was seen on his.

You once again felt the love for Dean, that you had always felt for him. You wondered when you had started to take that feeling for granted. After the werewolf hunt? But that didn’t matter now anymore, your love for Dean was as strong as ever.

That day you didn’t have any hunts, so you watched a movie and went out for dinner. You ordered a steak and fries, while Sam ordered a salad and Dean a hamburger of course. The waitress, who surprisingly didn’t flirt with Dean, walked back to the kitchen.

There was barely anyone in the diner, which was pretty odd for a Saturday night. When the couple that finished up eating had left, there was no one besides Sam, Dean and you. Even the waiter who was taking her time was still out back.

Things didn’t feel right, your senses were alerted and you glanced over the room. Nothing but complete silence, the boys however didn’t notice and kept eating.

Then Castiel popped up in the diner, and walked over to you fast. His expression showed something was wrong, you were already at your feet. But Sam and Dean still looked confused as to what was going on.

“We have to leave.” Cas yelled and took your arm. Sam and Dean were on their feet now and took out their guns while scanning the place for any signs of danger.

“What do you mean?” You asked him confused, Cas however ignored you. It all went way too  fast for you to comprehend.

In a split second you weren’t in the diner anymore, you still felt Castiel’ hand holding your arm. Your head was aching from all the transporting, it took you a while for you to understand where you were.

You stood in an abandoned ware house, your first guess was that Cas had brought you here. There was no sign of the Winchesters only Castiel and you. The place was big but completely empty, the lack of windows didn’t make it any better.

Amanaël stood in front of you. He wore the same suit as when you had first meet him. A cruel smirk on his face showed he was up to no good.

“You were hard to find, but I’m glad we are all here now.” The look on Castiel’ face showed that this wasn’t going according to plan.

You looked over at Cas puzzled, but he just looked at Amanaël angrily. Unconsciously you had taken Castiel’ hand, the angel in the grey suit creeped you out.

“What do you want?” You spoke up, done with this douchebag. A low laughter filled the room, apparently one of you had fun. You weren’t as amused as he was however.

“Ooh Y/N, we want you of course.” You frowned at the answer. You? Why would the angels want you? You had no clue what he meant, but you knew Castiel did. You wanted to ask why, but you were cut off by Amanaël who was running towards you with what looked like an angel blade.

Castiel reacted quickly and pulled out his own, ready to fight the other one. But before Cas could defend you, Amanaël pushed you to the ground. Castiel wanted to take advantage of it by stabbing him in the back, but Amanaël swiftly turned around.

The sound of two angel blades clashing with one another filled the room. Amanaël deflected Castiel’ blade once more and punched Castiel in the face. Cas stumbled backwards and he got a fist punched in his stomach.

A low and painful grunt escaped his lips, a mean chuckle came from Amanaël as he threw Castiel against the wall.

“Cas!” You yelled in hurt, hoping that he was still alive. The rush of emotions from your dream went through you, you didn’t want to see Castiel in pain.

In this time you had found your feet again and taken out your gun, you knew it wasn’t much but it was all you had. You fired the gun multiple times, each bullet found its target. There were three holes in the back of Amanaël’ suit and he didn’t seem happy about it.

“You are foolish to think that will hurt me.” He turned around and walked over to you. You stood there frozen, there wasn’t much you could do.

You dropped your gun and punched  Amanaël in the face, that didn’t seem to do anything to him either. He gripped your throat firmly and pulled you up, so that your feet were dangling in the air.

You desperately gasped for air, but you couldn’t get any. Your lungs were burning and you slowly felt yourself slipping away, black dots forming in front of your eyes. The last thing you saw was the mean glint in Amanaël’ eyes as he strangled you to death.

You saw it, the white light of death, it grew brighter with every second. Apparently death didn’t take, because the light seemed to have come from a lamp. A lamp in a room, a room in the bunker to be precise.

It felt like someone had decided to go play on the drums inside your head, a painful headache pounced your brain. You could hear voices, angry voices shouting at each other. You reluctantly sat up and saw that you were lying on the couch, inside the bunker.

It was reassuring that you were home, but the pain didn’t go away, your throat felt awful. You walked over to the noise, it came from the library. You walked in and saw Dean standing in the middle of the room glaring daggers at Castiel, who stood across him.

“How could you have done that! She was almost killed, because of you!” He yelled at Castiel with fury.

“I was trying to protect her!” Castiel shouted back at Dean, you hadn’t seen Castiel so angry in a long time.  

“Well you were doing a great job at that!” He said sarcastically, there was a high tension in the room, it looked like they both were about to fight each other. You saw Sam standing in the middle of the two of them, pushing them both back. He was the first to notice you, and stopped immediately.   

When Castiel and Dean both turned around, relief on both faces. You gave them a weak smile, but you were worried about the two of them, they were best friends they should fight.

Dean ran over to you and pulled you in a tight hug, like he was never going to let you go. You hugged him back, it calmed you being in the arms of your boyfriend.

 _“Y/N.”_ You heard a voice say. You took a step back and looked around you in confusion. Dean looked at you in worry, scanning your body if you were hurt. Then you realized you could hear angel radio and it was Cas.

“Are you alright?” Dean asked you.

“Yeah I’m fine, sorry it’s nothing.” You reassured him and gave him a kiss. Sam walked over to you and gave you a bear hug.

_“I’m so sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. Are you okay?”_

_“Cas I’m fine and it’s not your fault.”_ You pulled back from Sam’s hug and gave Cas a little nod.

Tension between Castiel and Dean was still clearly there. Dean barely looked at Castiel and when he did, he looked angry. Castiel explained how he killed Amanaël and brought you back to the bunker.

“Okay, guys I know that it was a close one, but I’m though and I can handle it. I’m alive and well so nothing to worry about.” You stated, trying to relief some tension. It worked a little bit, but you had the feeling there was more going on.

Something that wasn’t about you getting hurt, there was definitely something wrong between Dean and Cas. You could tell that Sam noticed so too. But the main thing on your mind was the angels, what was going on? Why do they want you so badly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it, my chapters turn out longer everytime, but I think that that is a good thing. The next chapter will probably be my last one and it will explain everything. If you liked it please leave kudos or a comment to let me know what you think. ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time has come to choose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys this has been one hell of a chapter. It took me long to write, and I had problems with writing the ending. This is my longest chapter ever and I cried during writing this. I hope you like it!;)

Castiel stayed away for the next couple of days, probably because of the angry glares he got from Dean. And maybe because he didn’t want to answer the thousand questions you had. The boys had forbidden you from going on hunts, even though you kept begging for them to let you go with them.

So you were left in the bunker all alone, no company. It wasn’t so bad, just boring without Dean and Sam. They would be gone for a couple of more days, giving had time to take care of yourself. You took a long shower, went to the hairdresser and painted your nails, overall things you rarely did.

There had been a thing that you wanted to do for a long time, but never were allowed to do. Now that Dean and Sam weren’t there, you decided it was the perfect time. Downstairs in the garage of the bunkers stood very beautiful old vehicles. Cars and motorcycles that Dean had taken care of, he was very strict on ridding them.

You put on your black leather jacket and took the keys off the motorcycle you’ve been wanting to ride ever since you came here. You walked over to the back motorbike, it stood on the left in the back of the garage. It was lit with a blue light from under it, like it was on a display.

Next to it stood a red one ,followed by another one that looked a little bit older. With a devilish glint in your eyes, you took the old motorcycle you thought was the most beautiful.

You knew that Dean had taken good care of them, causing the tank to be completely full. The engine roared and off you were. The air outside was cold, but the sun shined and the heat of the motor underneath you warmed you up.

Your Y/H/C hair flew in the air as you raced down the highway, it was liberating. You were going to the nearest by mall to get a well-deserved massage. normally you would never let anyone touch you, but you made an exception this time.

You parked the motor and walked over to the shop with a giant Buda standing behind the shop window. As you walked over the sidewalk, against the wall stood two men. A lot older than you and wearing dirty clothes. They both smiled at you, revealing yellow rotten teeth.

The men didn’t really look friendly, exactly the kind of men you need to stay far away from. Your heart started pounding a little harder, but you kept walking. You knew you could easily take them if you had to, even though you didn’t have a weapon on you.

But you couldn’t turn around now, just a few more steps until you would reach the shop. When you walked past them, the guys whistled at you. It had happened before and you did as you always did, ignore it. When you were almost out of danger, one of them took a step forward and blocked your way.

You stopped immediately, the man in front of you had a scruff like he hadn’t shaved in a few days. Brown eyes scanned your body, lingering on some places. You wanted to take another step back  but the other man had blocked that way too.

A blue cap covered part of his long greasy brown hair that reached his shoulder. He had bags under his eyes, making him look like a crackhead. He smiled at you nastily, you knew you had to get out of this situation.

“Well aren’t you a pretty little thing.” The man in front of you with a smirk.

“Get out of my way.” You warned them, you weren’t joking but they thought so.

“C’mon baby, we won’t hurt you, why don’t you come with us? We’ll show you a good time.” The man behind you stepped closer, you were trapped.

“Get out of my way or I will make you. And trust me it won’t be pleasant.” The fear that had crept up earlier was now gone, it was replaced by anger. A fierce look on your face told them you meant business.

They however didn’t get the memo. “Feisty woman isn’t she. I like them that way.” Scruffs said and licked his lips slowly.

From behind you Greasy Hair stepped forwards, placed his hands on your wrists and pushed his crotch against your ass. You were hundred percent done with these guys, and anger took over.

Your elbow hit the nose of the scumbag behind you hard, causing him to stumble backwards. Now free from his grip you focused on Scruffs, who had a stupid look on his face, clearly he hadn’t expect that.

He snapped back and looked at you angrily. “You stupid bitch.” But before he could do anything you put all your strength in the punch that slammed against his face. He fell to his left against the wall.

You turned around to see Greasy Hair covering his nose were blood came streaming out off. You could have left them there in their pity, but just to make sure that they would think twice the next time they would see a pretty girl, you walked over to him. Gave him a sarcastic smile before putting both of your hands on his shoulders, and kicked him in the private parts with your knee.

The man let out a grunt, collapsed on the ground and covered his crotch with his hand. The man that lay against the wall, had already a bruise on his cheek. He stood up walking against the wall to make sure he was as far away from you as possible, he walked over to his friend.

“Crazy bitch.” He muttered as he helped his friend up and walked away. You had a grin on your face as you walked the last couple of feet towards the shop.

Inside there was soothing calming music playing and it smelled like lavender. The walls were painted blue and paintings hang everywhere. On your right was a reception with a woman behind it, she had dark brown hair put in a tight  bun.

The kind smile on her face seemed a bit forced, like she wasn’t really happy. The wrinkles around her eyes showed that she must have been at least forty.

“Hello, how can I help you?” She asked in a sweet feminine voice. She wore a white blouse, which didn’t seem very fitting, maybe she was just the receptionist.

She told you to go through the door in the back, there would be a room to take off your clothes and she would be there in a second. Something seemed off about this all, you just had that feeling. Don’t be so suspicious, you thought to yourself and walked towards the door.

Gingerly you put your hand on the cool doorknob, you looked over your shoulder to the woman. Who still stood behind the desk, the same fake smile plastered on her face, telling you to go on.

You let out a sigh and opened the door, brighter and brighter the now unnatural light from the room shone. You knew this kind of bright white light all too well, and frankly you were getting tired of seeing it. 

 

* * *

 

 

After your eyes adjusted to the light that by now, had dimmed more. You knew were you had been sucked to, forced to be here, again. You could just have one quiet peaceful day without angels, demon and other deadly crap.

You were in a big room, high cream white walls that bowed into a round sealing. In front of you on a sort of pedestal a few feet higher, sat the same woman from the shop, in a big wooden chair.

All the furniture in the room seemed to be made out of the same old dark wood, including the desk that you stood behind and the small chair. You knew were you were, you had seen it plenty times in crime series, you were in a courtroom. But why?

To your right stood a dozen or so chairs with people in grey suits on them, they all stared at you, they were probably the jury. But you couldn’t care less about them, you were focused on the men that sat next to the judge. Dean and Castiel were placed on each side of the judge, given lower and smaller seats.

When you saw Dean sitting there as confused as you were, every molecule in your body ached to go to him. Hug him, be with him, feeling a little bit safer in this weird place. But you couldn’t you were probably spellbound to your seat or something, because you couldn’t move.

Castiel that sat on the left, had his head bowed down, not looking at you at all. You wondered why? Did he have anything to do with this? You hoped not so, you wanted to go to him, ask him. Your emotions were all over the place, what the hell was going on with you?

The judge raised her gavel and pounded it two times, which seemed unnecessarily given the fact that the whole courtroom was silent, maybe it was an official thing.

“I hereby declare this case opened. We are all here to discuss the matter of Miss Y/L/N. We by now all know that she has broken one of our sacred rules, we can’t let that happen.” The now not so friendly lady said in a strict voice.

“Uhm excuse me… Your honor? If I may ask what is going on, and which rule have I broken?” You hated how formal you sounded, but you were afraid that if you didn’t she would smite you in a second.

She looked at you like that was the dumbest question, she had ever heard in her life. After a sassy eye roll, she sighed and started.

“You, Y/N Y/L/N have no idea do you?” She said it like it was something very obvious. “You are a Nephilim, half angel half human, and incredibly dangerous. Not only to human kind and the earth itself but also to us. That is why you have been brought here, we are here to decide whether or not you may live.”

You blinked a couple times, not sure if you heard that correctly. They were going to kill you? Dean who now looked like he was going to explode with anger, spoke up before you even could.

“You are what? Hell no! You are not going to touch her ever!” He shouted at the judge that clearly wasn’t amused by that tone.

“We will…” But she was cut off by Dean immediately. “No you will not! If you ever try to do anything to her, I will kill you. I swear to God, I will make sure that every single one of you douchebags will obliterate.” He hissed through his tightly pressed teeth, trying to control his anger. You had never seen someone so full of hatred and anger, but even in all that you could make out that he was scared, for your life.

The words echoed through the room, everyone was quiet. Not daring to do anything, even the judge seemed scared of the what Dean had just said. Her breath hitched, she was taken back by the thread she just got. Because she knew, she knew not to mess with the Winchesters.

If she would enrage him, she would regret it and she knew it. Fear showed in her eyes, she looked at the jury and immediately turned back to her cold expression.

Dean opened his mouth to say something else, but was cut. He wanted to talk but no sound came out, like invisible duct tape was placed over his mouth. The woman turned towards the jury who all sat silent and asked them what their opinion was.

The first one, a woman stood up, she clearly wasn’t a fan of you and said you should be killed. You could do nothing to sit and wait out what they had to say, and you hated every second off it. They talked about you like you weren’t even in the room.

Cas followed the conversations about you, but never looked your way. Dean could only look at you, you knew he probably felt guilty for all of this.

Nothing really good came out of it, no one really had a good solution. And you knew it, this would be the end. You knew the angels weren’t going to leave you be.

“Make her an angel.” A low voice from your left spoke up. All heads turned his way, the angel that had sat quietly in the corner now finally said something.

“Excuse me?” The judge looked offended by the idea.

“Turn in her soul, give her angel grace. Let her be an angel, she won’t be a thread to us anymore.” He said more determined of his statement, he looked over to you.

And with that chaos broke out, every angel jury stood up and began to shout. Everyone had an opinion, shouting how ridiculous it was and some seemed to consider it. Even Dean, who now could speak, shouted.

The judge franticly slammed her hammer, to calm everyone down and regain order. Sweat had broken out on your forehead, you were fearful of your life. But you couldn’t think, so many things and information, it was all too much.

Castiel certainly liked his idea and thought it was a good plan, Dean however wasn’t so pleased with it. He had knew all along, he felt it from the beginning that there was something between Castiel and you. He wasn’t just about to let you go, let Castiel take you.

“No! No, no that ain’t going to happen.” If a gaze could kill, Castiel would have been nothing more than ash. The two of them stared at each other intensely, Dean was furious. You had never seen them so tens, there was definitely something going on you didn’t know of.

“Dean, that would save her life!” Castiel fought back.

“Well why not turn it around then!” He shouted without even knowing what he said. Everyone in the courtroom was silent and confused, including you.

“What do you mean?” One of the jury people asked.  

“You douchebags can pull people out of hell, I bet one of you can heal Y/N completely. And then take out the grace, that way she will be human.” He just realized that that wasn’t actually a bad plan.

“Both are almost impossible to do and extremely painful. A soul can’t manage so much grace and will die, if we make her an angel. She won’t be the same anymore, human emotions will be new to her, she won’t have a soul anymore.

Even if we could muster enough power to heal her completely, if we could take out the grace she would suffer horribly, she would always be in pain. Physically she would be fine, but mentally she will never be the same again.” The words stabbed you like a knife in your heart.

No matter what you would choose, you would never be the same again. This is so unfair, why did you deserve this?

Tears started welling up in your eyes, you couldn’t hold them back any longer. No new air filled your lungs you couldn’t breathe, like someone had punched you in your stomach.

You knew everyone’s attentions was focused on you, but you couldn’t care. The only thing that mattered now were Cas and Dean, they both looked broken. You could see Dean’s eyes full with sadness and anger. And Cas was crushed, he never wanted to see you get hurt.

Silence pierced the room and was agonizing, because you knew everyone was waiting for you. Waiting to hear what your choose would be. You could hear your heart beating, pounding like crazy.

Your hands were shaking, you had to make a choice.  

It wasn’t just about you, it was clear now. You realized, as you saw the absolutely crushed faces of the boys. They love you.

How could you have been so oblivious, that is why there was a tension. Why they both were acting so agitated around each other, arguing. This choice wasn’t just about your life, it was also about them, and they knew it too.

You knew Dean loved, but now Castiel had feelings for you too. And you didn’t know who to choose, it was an impossible decision. Yes you loved Dean, everything about him, he was perfect and your boyfriend.

But Castiel had steered something inside you too, it was unexplainable. When you thought about the dream you had with him, goosebumps formed all over your arms. There was no denying you had feelings for him.

Tears now rolled all over your face, making your cheeks wet. You didn’t want to say it, but you had to. You glanced over to both of them one more time, and then focused back on the judge.

You let out a sigh, knowing you were about to hurt one of the people you loved most.

“Make me an angel.”

 

 

**1 year later**

You reconsidered it one more time, but you knew that the former you would have done it. You pressed the steal door open and stepped in. The familiar sound of going down the staircase, made memories come back.

You walked until you had reached the door opening of what you had used to call home. You were in the bunker, your old home. After a year of being away in heaven, you finally decided you went back.

The first person you saw was Sam, he had the most surprised and puzzled face when he saw you. When after a few seconds he realized it was you, he jumped up and gave you a tight bear hug.

You stiffly padded his back, trying to remember what to do.

“Y/N! Your back! I’ve missed you so much.” He was glad to see you again.

“Hey Sam, it’s nice to see you.” You said in a plain voice, which made his brows furrow.

“Are you okay? What happened? You better make sure Dean doesn’t see you right now. He won’t talk about it, never explained what had happened. Cas disappeared too.”

Your eyes were glued to the ground, you did remember what had happened that day all too well. You remembered the emotions that went through you then, you could name them.

Heaven had changed you, like the judge had said, you were different. After you had made your choice, you were taken away immediately. The courtroom had disappeared in the light, the last thing you saw, was the broken chattered face of Dean.

Tears rolled down his eyes, betrayal and pain written all over his face. You had never seen him so hurt, you cried at seeing him.

“I am fine, thank you.” You replied bluntly, ever since you had become an angel, emotions were something you knew but not felt.

You hadn’t felt any real emotions, and in heaven it wasn’t really emotional too. This was your first time on earth again, and you thought this was the best place to start.

“What…” Sam was starting to ask questions again, but was cut off. Your eyes moved to look past Sam and there in the door opening on the other side he stood.

Thousand emotions crossed his face, first surprise, then unbelieve, hurt, pain, anger.

“D-dean…” You started but knew it had no point.

“NO! No! You have no right!” He pointed towards you, tears had already made their way down his face. He took in a shaky breath, all the emotions he had buried had come rushing back. The complete and utter hurt on his face had made you realize, what you had done. You had crushed him.

“You left me! You went and chose him! You… You..” He shouted but his voice cracked off emotions.

And there happened something, something you never thought that would happen. It was something you had hoped for, wanted, but knew would never happen again. It were emotions.

Emotions came boiling up inside you, one in particular, love. Seeing Dean standing there, it had broken something inside you, unleashed it.

You started crying, crying the hardest you had ever done. Tears fell like a waterfall, not stopping.

“Dean I love you.” You whispered. “I love you.” Again, it was the only thing you could think of right now, the only thing on your mind.

“I love you, I love you so much. Dean I love you.” The words came flowing out like your tears, and you couldn’t stop.

You walked over towards him, and looked in his apple green eyes, you had missed so much. There were so many things left unsaid that day in the courtroom.

“I want you. I only want you, because I love you, only you.” You placed your hands on his face and forced him to look at you.

“But you chose him, Y/N, him.” He bit his lip trying not to cry more.

“I didn’t want to live in pain forever, because I couldn’t, I can’t. I had to, I didn’t chose him, all I want is you.” You took in a shaky breath. You just hoped he would forgive you, you needed him to.

“I can be myself again, I now I can. But I need you, I can’t do it without you. I promise I won’t ever leave you again.” You put all of you in it, in these words.

Then Dean pulled you in a kiss that was so magical and fantastic you would never forget. Fireworks went off everywhere, it was like magic and everything in the world was okay. You knew that everything was going to be fine.

“I love you.” He said after pulling away, then kissing you again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! If you did please leave kudos or a comment to let me know what you think.
> 
> Also for other Dean Winchester/ Reader fanfics, go to my account, I have loads more!;)  
>  
> 
> Xxx


End file.
